Empty-nesters open their hearts to sibling group

Odie and Alice Nelson raised four children of their own and then turned their empty nest into a haven for Youth Villages foster children.

When the call came that three little children were in need of help, the Nelsons opened their hearts. The children, ages 2, 3 and 5, were in rough shape.

“You could tell that they hadn’t had any structure in their lives,” Mrs. Nelson, a school crossing guard, says of the children who came to call her “granny.” The Nelsons nurtured the children and helped them learn the simple routines of family life.

Most importantly, they kept a lifeline open to their birth family. Their father stepped up to help his children.

“He started out calling them every week and then going on outings,” Mrs. Nelson says. “I’d give him updates on everything the children were doing, info on school, how they were at home.”

Mrs. Nelson became the father’s advocate and adviser. “I talked to him about things he needed to do, and he followed through,” she says.

Youth Villages offers foster care in Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama.

In Tennessee, children who come into the system should be on a track to permanency within 18 months, and the state – with our help – is making providers more accountable.

The state began performance-based contracting in 2006, offering financial incentives to agencies that reduce a child’s average length of stay in care and decrease the number of children who boomerang right back to the system.

Under this new type of contract, Youth Villages saved children almost 10,000 days in the foster care system, while helping 22 percent more children find permanent homes.

“From day one, we’re working to get these children home,” says Michelle Childs, a clinical consultant in foster care. “Sometimes, neglect occurs because of poverty or the parent just doesn’t know how best to care for a child. Often, we can provide the parental support or education so that the child can return.”

The three children the Nelsons lovingly cared for were finally reunited with their father. But the strong bond between the children and their foster parents persists. The children visit during the year and for the holidays.

The Nelsons have fostered seven children in all, including a couple of teenagers. They also helped raise a grandson who died in a car accident at age 17. Shawntez, a quiet teen, was the last foster child in their home after their grandson’s death.

They bonded as a family when Shawntez began having trouble in school, and Mrs. Nelson realized that something wasn’t right. Shawntez, it turned out, was being teased for being a foster child and for being slow in school. His quiet nature had caused significant learning deficiencies to go unnoticed.

Switching to an alternative school helped Shawntez do better overall. Mrs. Nelson’s involvement with the teen’s educational needs also helped.

“Shawntez began to trust that I would help him.” Mrs. Nelson says. He also began to trust that he was becoming part of a new family.

The Nelsons adopted Shawntez, who could not return to his birth family.

The Nelsons plan on fostering more children soon.