Picture this: you’re at your desk, working from home, on the first floor of your house. It’s normally quiet there, but the kids are home for the summer. While trying to participate in a meeting, you’re also trying to drown out the sounds of your 13-year-old playing video games with their friend upstairs and your 7-year-old running from the yard through the kitchen with your barking dog. You know everyone is about to ask for lunch because it’s 12:45 but you’re in a meeting and have an end of day deadline for a project.

Parental burnout is defined by Psychology Today as mental and physical exhaustion from the chronic stressors of parenting, which occurs when you don’t have the resources to handle those stressors. Parental burnout might feel like the following:

• Increased feelings of stress
• Short temper, strong reactions towards your children
• Brain fog/ forgetfulness
• Poor sleep
• Feeling isolated

Steps You Can Take

• Be aware of your tipping points and work with your family to set boundaries, such as:
  • No friends over when I’m working from home
  • Dinner time is busy – no requests for rides
  • Pull in older sibling or additional adults/caregivers to supervise younger children during your busiest times of day
• Establish a daily routine for the summer, include wake times, bedtimes, daily expectations for chipping in around the house and rules for summer activities, such as:
  • Everyone is home for dinner
  • Wet bathing suits get hung up outside
  • Everyone upstairs by 9pm for bed or quiet time
  • Delegate chores to all children/ family members
• Revise your own self-care plan to fit your new summer schedule and the different needs of you and your family
  • Think of activities that bring you and your children joy and do them together (take a walk, ride bikes, visit the playground, visit the beach, go for an ice cream)
  • Take advantage of free summer programming through your public library, school department, parks and recreation department, YMCA or Free Fun Fridays
  • Look for moments of personal time – playing your favorite music between drop offs at camp, playing a podcast or audiobook while doing house chores or yard work
• Evaluate the use of your support system
  • Co-op supervision of kids between family or friends to give each person a break
  • Do more activities as a group. Kids can hang out with a friend and you can too
  • Does anyone in your life have a reduced summer schedule and can help with childcare needs or transportation to camp?
  • Does anyone live out of town that you’ve been wanting to visit? Summer is a great time to visit family and friends in other states
  • Take the initiative to get to know the caregivers of your friend’s children
• Use in the moment strategies to regulate your emotions
  • Take long steady deep breaths
  • Take a mindful moment and focus on each of your five senses one at a time – what do you hear, smell, taste, touch, see?
  • Change your environment – walk away from a stressful situation, get fresh air, step out into the sun
  • Take a movement break – go for a walk around the block, do a free exercise program on a streaming platform, stretch

We are often so concerned with taking care of our children and families that we can easily forget to look after ourselves. These tips and strategies can help you avoid the feeling of burn out and help to ensure that your needs are being met as well.

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