As the new year begins, so do the resolutions. Many people set ambitious goals — reading 50 books by the end of the year, working out six days a week or even better, “New Year, New Me” — only to abandon them months later.

Although goals can seem like a yearly obligation, they do have the ability to build purpose for both adults and children. Goal setting for children can create structure and build self-esteem. For children who may be struggling at home, in school or even with their peers, goals are a tried-and-true way to measure a child’s progress.

Here are some dos and don’ts of goal setting with your child from Youth Villages’ clinical services experts, Michael Stempkovski and Adrian James.

Start small

When working with children, especially those who are struggling, start small. Meeting children where they are helps ensure their goals are realistic, and you are not setting the bar too high. Using everyday tasks around the house is a great place to start. These goals can be as simple as:

• Make your bed each morning
• Brush your teeth before breakfast
• Let the dog out
• Help set the dinner table
• Ask each family member a question during dinner

Small, daily goals help children build confidence and create momentum for future, larger goals. The small win for today can have a giant impact on self-esteem for the bigger goal.

Be curious

To start building larger goals, communication is essential. Collaborate with your child to explore their interests and create goals that matter to them. You may learn something new about your child and build an environment that encourages open dialogue. Working together to identify the right goals also helps your child recognize which situations make them feel overwhelmed.

A few tips to keep in mind when talking about goals:

• Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share.
• Pay attention to the small details, such as tone, energy level or body language.
• Use follow-up questions to show you are listening and want to understand.
• Stay curious about their interests.

Think outside the box

When presenting a child with a set of goals, they may feel overwhelmed and take it as punishment. Sometimes, you have to think outside the box. Creating goals doesn’t have to be just checking something off of a list.

• If your child is struggling in going to school, have them create a vision board for the school year.
• If your child has a hard time studying, and they have a goal of 30 minutes a night to study spelling words, make it a spelling bee game show with fake audience, applause and all.
• If your child is working on being more helpful around the house, find out their interest, such as cooking, and give them a task each night that contributes to making dinner.

In the end, the best goals are the ones that help children feel confident and supported. With simple steps, open conversations and a little creativity, you can empower your child to grow in ways that matter most.

Michael Stempkovski, PhD, LPC, NCC, is the director of clinical services for Intercept^®, a program that provides intensive in-home services to children and their families at Youth Villages.

Adrian James, NCC, LPC-S, is the clinical services assistant director of intensive in-home programs at Youth Villages.

Share on Social